Am I an Enneagram 9 or Enneagram 2?
Enneagram types 9 and 2 are both part of the positive outlook triad. They’re generally glass-half-full types with a warm demeanor who put others’ needs first.
But both Enneagram 9 and Enneagram 2 are driven by different internal motivations, and have different paths for personal growth.
Recognizing the unique perspectives of Enneagram 9s, the Peacemakers, and 2s, the Helpers, can help you figure out your own type.
Enneagram 9s: Motivated by harmony
Nines are primarily motivated by keeping the peace, avoiding conflict, and maintaining positive connections. They have a hard time asserting themselves or saying anything that may rock the boat.
Key Traits
Highly conflict-averse
Struggle to express own needs
Feel tension expressing negative emotions
Cater to others’ perspectives and wants
Diplomatic, receptive, laidback
To restore equilibrium and keep things pleasant, 9s set aside their own preferences to accommodate others. They repress negative emotions and withdraw from tense situations, numbing themselves out or redirecting their attention away from anything uncomfortable.
Enneagram 2s: Motivated by a need to be needed
Twos share 9s caring nature but are motivated by the need to feel indispensable to others. Their giving is often an unconscious way of seeking validation and appreciation. They think they need to do things to be loved. Unhealthy 2s can manipulate situations in order to feel needed, or use guilt or worry to maintain their helper role.
Key Traits
Warm, empathetic
Get identity from being helpful
Can be intrusive in their “helping”
Struggle with acknowledging own needs
May use guilt to pressure others
Twos generously support others, but they often give to get. They want validation and reciprocation. But they struggle with admitting their own desires, which can breed resentment.
Core motivations and fears
Type 9: Motivated by the need to maintain internal peace and harmony. Fear loss and separation from others.
Type 2: Driven by the need to be loved and appreciated. Their actions are often fueled by the fear of being unworthy of love.
Communication style
Type 9: 9s often communicate in a non-confrontational manner. They are adept at listening and understanding various viewpoints but may not express their own thoughts if it risks causing upset.
Type 2: 2s are open and expressive in their communication. They love to flatter and want to be your confidant.
Conflict style
Type 9: 9s try to preserve relationships by avoiding conflict and withdrawing. They sacrifice what they want to keep others happy. Their approach is to maintain a harmonious status quo, even if it means not addressing underlying issues. Anger comes out via passive aggression.
Type 2: 2s are more likely to deal with conflict directly to keep relationships intact. If their (unspoken) needs go unmet for too long, they have a tendency to explode and guilt-shame by getting emotional, especially if they feel like their contributions are going unrecognized.
Discerning questions
Do you actively seek out ways to help others (Type 2), or do you usually help when asked but don’t necessarily go looking for ways to be useful (Type 9)?
Do you show love by creating a harmonious environment and prioritizing the collective’s needs over your own (Type 9) or do you show love through acts of service and giving, often going out of your way to meet the specific needs of others?
In conflict, do you withdraw to protect your inner calm (Type 9), or do you engage to address the emotional aspects of the relationship (Type 2)?
Areas for Growth
Enneagram 9: 9s typically view conflict as something negative that disrupts harmony. They need to learn that conflict can be constructive and a way to strengthen relationships through honest conversation. It’s not always about winning or losing but about understanding and being understood.
Enneagram 2: 2s need to learn the importance of self-care and recognize that they have needs, too. No one can read their mind and they need to be more vocal about what they want, instead of hoping that people will reciprocate their gestures. They need to ask why they are helping and if people actually want the help.
Knowing your Enneagram type is not just a tool for self-understanding – it’s a tool for growth.
For 9s, this means shifting from always going with the flow to declaring preferences and addressing conflict instead of avoiding it. For 2s, growth is about caring for yourself the way you care for other people and communicating in ways that are emotionally honest and free of manipulation.
By embracing these growth opportunities, both 9s and 2s can achieve more fulfilling relationships and a deeper sense of fulfillment.
If you're exploring your Enneagram type and would like to talk to someone to get more clarity, book an Enneagram typing session.
One more thing
Both Enneagram types 9 and 2 tend to sacrifice what they want and need to make others happy. They are classic people pleasers, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have their own dreams and goals. If you’re ready to start keeping your promises to yourself and prioritizing what matters to YOU, let’s talk.
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