What Are the 3 Enneagram Stances (Social Styles)?
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When most coaches, authors, and even researchers talk about accomplishing goals, they lump everyone together as if we all have the same innate ability to set and achieve goals. But this is not true. Your Enneagram type, and the stance your number is in, greatly affects how fast you move through the world and where you focus your attention.
You may have heard of Enneagram’s three centers of intelligence: head, heart, and body/gut. This is the Enneagram’s most well-known triad (groups of three). Each intelligence center has three Enneagram numbers in it. This triad explains the dominant way we automatically perceive the world.
From Suzanne Stabile’s The Journey Toward Wholeness:
“When you take in information from the environment, do you respond initially with What do I feel? What do I think?, or What will I do? It’s an intuitive, automatic move and it identifies what is known as your dominant center.”
The goal is to get all three centers into balance.
Stances are another one of the Enneagram’s triads. Stances show up as what you do to get what you want (this is all unconscious, of course). This triad, also known as ‘social styles’ or ‘Hornevian Groups’ is based on the work of psychoanalyst Karen Horney, who said that there are three primary ways we interact with others to meet our needs and soothe our inner conflict.
There are three stances, and, like the centers of intelligence, each stance has three Enneagram numbers in it.
The aggressive / assertive stance 3, 7, 8
Some people are naturally future-oriented and wired to go after what they want. In Enneagram world, they are known as the aggressive stance, or assertive stance. These are Types 3, 7, and 8: The Achiever, The Epicure, and the Challenger. They know what they want and have no problem going for it. They are high-energy action takers who don’t make a ton of space for feelings. They assert themselves and move against people to get what they want, meaning they charge forward. Imagine a sea of slow walkers and these Enneagram types pushing through.
If you’re a leader in this stance, be mindful that other people don’t move as fast as you. Get their opinions and explain what you’re doing if you want their buy-in.
The compliant / dutiful stance 1, 2, 6
The compliant stance, also known as the dutiful or dependent, stance is comprised of Types 2, 1, and 6: The Helper, the Improver, and the Loyalist. This stance tries to earn what they want. These Enneagram types move toward people and are present thinking: Who or what needs my attention this very second? It can be difficult for them to move forward because of perfectionist tendencies; trying to make everyone happy; and ‘what if’ thinking.
If you’re in this stance, you need to stay mindful of sticking to your plan instead of dropping everything to do what’s in front of you.
The withdrawn stance 4, 5, 9
And then we have the withdrawn stance, which is past-oriented: Types 9, 4, and 5: The Peacemaker, Individualist/Romantic, and the Observer. People in this stance are slower moving and don’t like to be rushed. They need time to process. They’re dreamers in their own worlds and can often come off as shy or introverted. These Enneagram types move away from others and looks inward. Past thinking. They withdraw to get what they want. They are thinking: What’s happened in the past that can inform what’s happening now? What has history shown me?
If you’re in this stance, notice your tendency to procrastinate and create a plan, or consider working with someone, to help you stop overthinking and to start taking action.
Each Enneagram type according to stance
Each Enneagram type within each stance is driven by a different motivation that’s part of their personality pattern. Here’s a look at how each Enneagram type acts according to their stance, categorized here by their intelligence center.
From onlineenneagram.com:
In the Instinctive Center (body types) — Types 8, 9 and 1 - "I want autonomy":
Eights demand autonomy; Nines withdraw to gain autonomy; Ones attempt to earn autonomy.
In the Feeling Center (heart types) — Types 2, 3 and 4 - "I want attention":
Twos tries to earn attention; Threes demand attention; Fours withdraw for attention.
In the Thinking Center (head types) — Types 5, 6 and 7 - "I want security"
Fives withdraw for security; Sixes try to earn security; Sevens demand security.
So there’s your very quick overview of the three stances: Aggressive, compliant, withdrawn. Which stance do you identify with the most? When it comes to achieving goals, what do you need to work on?
If this day were your last, would you be satisfied with how you’ve lived it?
If you’re looking for more peace, clarity, and positive transformation in your life, I’m here to help.
Hi. I’m Sarah Mikutel and, using tools like the Enneagram and Stoicism, I help my coaching clients reduce their anxiety and overwhelm, strengthen their relationships, and shift from uncomfortable stalemate to confident action.
You will never have this day again. It’s time to make every moment matter.
